10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Monday, May 04, 2009

Spirituality in Britain today - a personal reflection

I write this as an observer of the culture, and as someone who is interested in the burgeoning of the multifaceted culture of spirituality, apparent in almost every area of life. This is a quick summation of the thoughts that have been running through my head following the ROMBS Conference last weekend.

Almost ten years agonow I was invited to be a part of a Christian group who placed stalls into Mind Body Soul exhibitions, at the time what we called New Age Spirituality was becoming a noticeable part of culture. This rise in a search for spirituality away from the mainstream religions ( or possibly because of them) reflected the cultural shift from modernity to post-modernity. Questions were being asked of the religion and its power bases and at the same time the search for spirituality was being spoken about in ways it had not been before, being a spiritual person was a good thing to be and topics that would have previously been taboo were suddenly firmly on the agenda.

For the following 5 years the Mind Body Soul exhibitions grew in popularity and attracted larger and larger crowds, to be spiritual said something really positive about you as a person. Supermarkets and advertisers were quick to catch on and products were marketed according to the experience they might give you rather than on a list of facts and figures, a spiritual experience was a plus.

In the subsequent 5 years something interesting began to happen, some of the big exhibitions were replaced by a proliferation of smaller ones, village halls and pubs became popular venues, I have even been asked to advise a schools on the subject of hosting spirituality fairs as fundraisers.

Spirituality is still firmly on the agenda, people are more open to speak about spiritual things and see spirituality as an essential part of being human. One thing that challenges me is the current readiness of folk to talk about Jesus in a positive manner, most recently this trend has been highlighted for us by Jade Goody and her statements about faith and baptism.

The question to the Church today is, are we ready to engage with the God who has gone before us, do we have eyes to see, and ears to hear where he is working so that we can join in?

Eternal Echoes

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