10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Sunday, June 28, 2009

More pursue careers as spiritual advisers

In past lives, Steve Isles was an insurance analyst and Peter Fabre was a nuclear engineer. Now the two run into each other in the halls of Banner Thunderbird Medical Center, where each is learning the ropes of spiritual care as chaplain interns.

"We all need something that is new at some point in our lives," Fabre said, adding that he could not have appreciated fully the emotional subtleties of patients when he was younger. "As we age and go through the phases in life, what's important takes on a slightly different meaning."

The fields of pastoral care, ethics and spirituality are changing and growing for a number of reasons: an aging population, the evolution and increasing adoption of professional standards for pastoral care, and interest by mid-lifers looking for meaningful work.

Late this year, Arizona State University will add a master's program in applied ethics and the professions that will span all four campuses. Pastoral-care ethics and spirituality will be taught at the West campus, while the business, biomedical, environment and emerging technologies ethics programs will debut at the other campuses this fall.

Ethics, at least academically, is hot.

"It appears that with the economic crisis we have sort of a demand and interest in bringing that kind of training into the fields," said Martin Matustik, a professor coordinating ASU's master's in pastoral-care ethics. "It will be interesting to see if companies and corporations will incorporate that need."

The work is challenging for people schooled to be pastors or priests in their own religions.

Chaplains and other care workers may not proselytize, preach or be perceived as giving medical advice. They are there to listen and to help patients explore their own questions.

For all of the summer interns at Banner, each of whom is on at least a second career, the rich interplay with other religions has been one of the most rewarding facets of the job. As they go from room to room, they might encounter a Muslim, a Catholic, a Jew or a Presbyterian, all on the same round.

"I'm learning a lot more about other religions," said intern Hugo Soutus, a priest at Dormition of the Mother of God Ukrainian Catholic Church in Phoenix. "I'm learning a lot about people going through difficult times."

Pastors and chaplains have been around, of course, for ages. What has changed is the type of people seeking work in the field and pursuing the level of education the work demands.

"Many more people are taking up ministry as a second career," said Toni Wolf, who supervises Banner Thunderbird's pastoral education program. "It used to be that you simply didn't have middle-aged folks or even people in their 30s going back to seminary, where now that is very, very common. Now young folks are not very common at all."

The professionalism required by hospitals, prisons and other institutions that employ chaplains is becoming more standardized as well.

Isles will have to show that he has mastered 29 "competencies" to become board-certified.

That is the norm.

"There are standards being introduced for chaplains, especially in health-care facilities, as part of their own accreditation," Wolf said. "Most places hiring full-time are requiring them to be certified. That's why it seems to be a new thing. There is a lot more professional approach to the whole thing."

Matustik expects most of the students in the ASU program to be working professionals or recent graduates who need a master's to get started in bereavement, trauma, chaplaincy or veterans affairs. Professors will work closely with the School of Social Work. Not all ethicists will be religion-based.

While volunteering at Hospice of the Valley, Matustik discovered a lack of educational opportunities for end-of-life caregivers and he wanted to send interns to fill that gap. The students will be armed with centuries of thought on ethics and reasoning.

"We sort of discovered in conversations with chaplains that there is no specific training for chaplains and ethicists that is interfaith and that even translates to hospice care," Matustik said. "They are not necessarily ready to work in a hospice situation. Nationwide, there is no specific training for hospice."

by Lesley Wright

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