10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice


I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.



There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:



1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.



2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.



3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.



4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”



Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:




  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.



  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!



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Monday, June 08, 2009

A Wild Sexy Spiritual Life

If you are like how most of the world is today, when you hear of the words spirituality or spiritual life, you probably associate them with recluse yogis sitting in a cave or celibate monks wearing robes. We are living in a time when most people don’t even prefer to talk about the word spirit in public as its considered too controversial. Somehow people around the world has grown to believe that a spiritual life is based on giving up all fun and freedom and living in solitude and sacrifice. The truth is very far away! Interestingly, as one day you will realize, a true spiritual life is not only one you enjoy divine ecstasy, but also it opens up doors that brings freedom most people cannot even dream of.

While there are many faiths that take many roads of understanding, basic spirituality is simple and is based on the following principles:

a. There is an omnipotent intelligence that is the source of this universe.

b. All creation is created from this Infinite Intelligence or the Great Spirit.

c. There is a reason for all things that happen and a purpose for this universe to exist.

d. Very simply put the reason is evolution. The universe evolves itself from lower states of intelligence and energy to the higher and higher levels until it merges back with the infinite Intelligence that created it.

e. Humans have always felt disconnected from this divine intelligence or God. Trying to distract themselves from the pain of separation (or more appropriately unawareness), humans have struggled in many different ways. Some of these less than fruitful ways are controlling others, trying to dominate over people, food, alcohol, sex, drugs etc.

f. When we begin to focus again on reestablishing our connection with God, we experience a real sense of bliss, freedom and peace.

g. When we experience this amazing bliss and freedom, we are automatically driven to help others experience the same.

In a nutshell, this is what a spiritual life is about.

Interestingly, as people awaken, they discover that there are many deeper forces that shape their lives! These invisible forces slowly begins to bring about many beneficial circumstances and events in your life without you even asking for it. These are the miracles or serendipities that people on a spiritual journey commonly seem to experience and talk about. As you awaken more and more spiritually through focus, discipline and dedication, the miracles and serendipities keep happening in ever greater extents. It’s almost like God takes on an active interest in your everyday life to fulfill your desires. No prayer is too small, no wish is too insignificant. In the most perfect ways, all wishes and prayers come true. Something that is beyond the wildest dreams of most people, you begin to enjoy a freedom that is simply incredible!

When we look at the yogis on a mountain or monks in the monasteries what we do not realize is that we are looking at someone who has given up the transitory material gains for a kingdom of heavenly treasures. Someone who has exchanged our false sense of earthly freedom with an eternal freedom beyond time and space. Someone who has sacrificed trivial earthly pleasures for divine ecstasy! When you see it this way, you suddenly realize how absurd is the idea of our materialistic lifestyle exchanging our entire lives paying for our credit cards and mortgages. A spiritual life does not dictate that you cannot have material riches and comfort. You can keep or make whatever riches you want to and still be very intensely focused on a spiritual path, yet sometimes it makes no sense to carry all the material chains that our societies bound us with.

A true spiritual life allows you to gradually prepare your heavily programmed mind to see beyond the material obvious and perceive the higher truths. Slowly you begin to understand the deeper laws of the universe and use them in your own life. When you get there, your life becomes filled with real magic and miracles. The whole universe seems to conspire to help you achieving your dreams. For now your dreams have become the dreams of the universe . The dreams of God.

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