10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

Popular content

Friday, July 31, 2009

Madonna Thinks the Road to Spirituality Begins With Being Rich and FamousIn a front-page article that Madonna supposedly wrote for Israel's Yediot Ahr

In a front-page article that Madonna supposedly wrote for Israel's Yediot Ahronot newspaper, Madge talks about how her life was changed by a Jewish mystic who told her that "being rich and famous is not the end of the road, but only the beginning." Guess a lot of us aren't even allowed on the road at all, then. And apparently on a writing streak, she also wrote a song for ex Guy Ritchie, just after returning from London with Jesus Luz. Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing her own comic book. Donald Trump partied with Rihanna at Katy Perry's Hammerstein Ballroom show. Taylor Momsen supposedly didn't down tequila shots with Ed Westwick, Jessica Szohr, Matthew Settle, and Chace Crawford at her 16th-birthday bash at Hiro. Those close to Mischa Barton think it's too soon after her hospitalization for her to begin filming on the CW's The Beautiful Life, because, you know, playing a supermodel with a drug problem is going to be an exhausting stretch.

Official statement from Jude Law's rep: "Jude Law can confirm that, following a relationship last year, he has been advised that he is to be the father of a child due in the fall of this year." So, um, congratulations to him? Joe Jackson confirmed that Norwegian performer Omer Bhatti is, in fact, Michael Jackson's love child. While partying with his pregnant girlfriend at L.A.'s Playhouse, Mel Gibson burst into a brawl with a Life & Style reporter posing as a fan who took his picture, which ended in Gibson ripping the reporter's shirt and his security guard deleting the photo. Amy Winehouse's dad faked a heart attack and had his doctor tell Amy he was dying in an effort to (unsuccessfully) "shock her" out of her heroin addiction. Clearly brains run in the family.

Eliot Spitzer is throwing a fund-raiser at his and Silda's Fifth Avenue apartment for Cy Vance, who's vying for Manhattan D.A. At a screening of his new movie, Adam, Hugh Dancy wouldn't say when he and Claire Danes will marry, but Cindy Adams says it's going to be in the next few months. Meanwhile Heath Ledger's family showed up for their first movie since the actor's death, and even stayed for the after-party at the Gramercy Park Hotel. Jay-Z and Beyoncé picked up hair products at Ricky's on Sixth Avenue. Bruce Willis stopped into Babbo for a few drinks. Mets infielder Jose Reyes, who's been on the disabled list since May with an "injured hamstring", was spotted dancing into the wee hours with a slew of Latin ladies at Serie 56 in Washington Heights.

George Clooney's latest Italian model-companion is also a lap dancer. Ali Larter's getting hitched in Maine this weekend. Tony Romo used to meet up with other women at Jessica Simpson's concerts. Because that's where all the real catches hang out. Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey tweeted over whiskey at 675 Bar. Twilight's Rachelle Lefevre is "stunned" that the studio would replace her character, Victoria, in the film's third installment, owing to her own scheduling conflicts. And during the CFDA's "town hall" meeting to discuss the fashion industry's steep price markdowns, Anna Wintour suggested implementing discounting ground rules that all the retailers could agree to. When Diane Von Furstenberg pointed out that that would be illegal, Wintour replied, "Is that something we can change? We have friends in the White House now."

By: Katie Goldsmith

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Cursed Mountain Look: Religion Is Scary

scary religionBefore my first look at Deep Silver Vienna's Cursed Mountain, I always thought of Buddhism as an optimistic celebrity religion where you didn't go to Hell. Now I think it's the second-scariest religion ever.

That's not to say that developer Deep Silver has misrepresented Buddhism as an angry, savage religion that turns unwary mountaineers into zombies. The creative team went way out of their way to research the Tibetan roots of the Buddhist religion and portray some its harsh truths as means for driving the plot of their game.

In Cursed Mountain, you play a Scottish mountaineer out to rescue his younger brother from the peak of a treacherous Himalayan mountain called Chomolonzo somewhere in Tibet. The game is set in the 1980s (to preclude problem-solving technology like GPS trackers and stuff), but the ancient religious traditions of the monasteries and villages that dot the mountain are preserved. So our hero, Eric Simmons, finds himself grappling with Buddhist lore and Tibetan rituals to free the trapped souls of ghosts and appease the angry, cursed mountain.

For my first look at the game, I witnessed a boss fight from later in the game that Deep Silver developer relations manager Martin Filipp was demoing for a couple of other games journalists. I had no idea what was going on in the story, but I saw Eric round a narrow, snowy pass high up on the mountain and come upon the ruins what looked like a temple. In front of the temple, on a flat patch of permafrost, there were three bird-shaped statues that Eric could choose to investigate by pressing A. Doing so activated the statues so that they gave off orange electricity and suddenly a giant, winged black shadow swooped down from the mountain to attack Eric.

Combat in Cursed Mountain is one part melee, one part waggle-fest. I think of it as "Buddhist Flailing" and it works like this: Eric will melee-attack ghosts and bosses with his pick-axe and then use special Buddhist artifacts to perform a ritual on them. First, you must melee ghosts enough times to get a glowing red emblem to appear on their bodies. Pointing at the emblem and clicking A triggers a set of motion control instructions to appear onscreen, telling the player to do things like brandish the Wii Remote or swing the Nunchuck diagonally. Filipp says this is the ritual needed to release the ghost. If you don't perform each action in the ritual correctly, the ritual fails and you have to start over. If you get it right, though, you get a small amount of health back—in addition to not having an angry ghost to deal with anymore.

While battling the winged thingy, Filipp explained that though the game relies on Buddhism to construct the plot -– like why the mountain is cursed and why all these ghosts of dead mountaineers keep attacking Eric -– the developer made their own enemies and strove to be respectful of the religion. So don't expect a throw down with Buddha or the Dalai Lama or anything.

However, do expect to see some pretty alarming things you didn't know about Buddhism from listening to actor Richard Gere rave about it. For example, there's the Bardo state of Buddhism where souls are held before going on to Nirvana or reincarnation. Eric is able to trigger a "Bardo" vision where he can attack ghosts and see hidden things like doors or clues. In this view, the icy white paths of Chomolonzo look gray and black particles move across the screen like snow flurries. It might not be what Buddhists had in mind when describing Bardo in their religious texts, but unless you're prepared to die and go there to find out, just accept the developer's interpretation.

Next up, there the Tibetan ritual of "sky burial." I had never heard of this before, but the developer stumbled across it in their research for the project and decided to include it in the game at a crucial point. At the risk of spoilers, I won't get into details -– but let's just say, the nature of it suits the creepy, alarming atmosphere of Cursed Mountain very well.

Finally, there's another ritual of appeasing the mountain. In Buddhism, Filipp explained, mountains are seen as living gods and to keep said gods from, say, falling on you, a potential climber has to make some sort of sacrifice to make them happy. In real life, I've heard of people offering money to a shrine or lighting incense, but in the game, things get a little more… physical. Again, no spoilers, but let me just say that Cursed Mountain is rated M for good reason. Sexy good reason.

Filipp wrapped up with the other two games journalists and gave me a quick rundown of a few other levels. Cursed Mountain is a linear game spanning 13 levels, but it's kind of neat how you can see the whole world of the game –- the mountain -– for pretty much every level. Unlike other survival horror games that rely on claustrophobic indoor settings, this game creates a sense of oppressive agoraphobia where you feel like the mountain is bearing down on you all the time and the ground beneath you opens up to a yawning sky-filled oblivion. There was one level I saw that took place in an ice crevice and by comparison, it seemed a lot less scary than the open-air levels.

Speaking from the experience of climbing Mount Fuji, I say the mental strain created by the Cursed Mountain's setting definitely felt like the real thing. You walk and you climb and you walk, but the peak always seems impossibly far away – and so does the safety of the ground below you. Add ghosts and an angry goddess to that and it's no wonder Eric has to keep muttering to himself throughout the game to stay sane.

One final point Filipp made before ending our appointment was that Cursed Mountain is physically unlike any other horror game out there. In other console horror games -– if they're really good and immersive -– you hunch over instinctively to protect yourself as the game gets scarier and scarier. Cursed Mountain forces you away from that with its motion controls and Filipp says this adds to the fear factor.

I guess I'll find that out for myself soon enough. Deep Silver was kind enough to send me home with a preview build of Cursed Mountain. I plan on cracking it open in a dark room with a Hello Kitty plushie next to me to stave off heebie-jeebies.

By AJ Glasser

Monday, July 27, 2009

A Tale of Еwo Cultures

For years the phrase “love Taiwan” has been one of the hottest and most frequently mentioned words in Taiwan’s highly polarized political environment. The phrase is widely used by local politicians to accuse their counterparts of failing to do something or other simply because deep in their hearts they don’t really “love Taiwan.”

The ‘love for Taiwan’ vs. ‘lack of love for Taiwan’ debate has consequently turned into an empty phrase in which the true meaning has been lost in the midst of all the political squabbling.

Yet there are indeed many people, regardless of whether they are rich or poor, young or old, men or women, and of course, whether they are Taiwanese or foreigners, who have put tremendous efforts into making the country a better place to live, an act that can truly be attributed to the spirit of “love Taiwan”. The Israeli Representative to Taiwan, Raphael Gamzou, is one of these people.

You may have spotted Gamzou, a foreigner wearing a gray Tzu Chi Foundation T-shirt, at a recycling station in Taipei City’s Jianghu Flower Market and Jade Market from time to time. Very often on weekends, the de facto Israeli ambassador to Taiwan spends an hour or two serving as a recycling volunteer in this not-so-pleasant environment for the largest Buddhist charity group in the world.

His foreign looks have very often drawn the attention of passersby, many of whom are stunned when they discover that the middle-aged foreigner is none other than the Israeli Representative to Taiwan.

“I remember when I went there (the recycling station) for the first time,” said Gamzou, “since I was big and it was hot and I sweat a lot, many Taiwanese people who saw me would ask my Tzu Chi friends about who I was.”

“They were really surprised when they learned that I am the Israeli Representative,” he said, “I love very much the reactions of these people, it helps to send the message that even though I am a foreigner, I belong to the society here.”

The head of the Israel Economic and Cultural Office in Taipei said he believes that as a diplomat, when one serves in a country one should become involved in and make a contribution to that society. He added that his involvement in these activities comes about because it is important for each one of us to dedicate some time as a volunteer.

He also thinks that when Taiwanese people see him doing volunteer work, it will encourage more people to join such activity. “When people see me do these works, they think that if a foreigner like me can bend and do volunteer work for the country, he must really love Taiwan.”

When the Israeli representative meets Tzu Chi

It might seem rather extraordinary for a Jew like Representative Gamzou to do volunteer work for a Buddhist group, but Gamzou himself says that he really enjoys doing so. “It is not that I have become a Buddhist or anything like that, but I am definitely committed to the humanitarian and social goals of Tzu Chi,” he noted.

His association with Tzu Chi goes back to 2006, when Gamzou first came to the country to take up his post in August of that year. While preparing for his post, Gamzou read about the local Buddhist Tzu Chi Foundation, known for its international humanitarian works, in a chapter of a report about non-government organizations in Taiwan left behind by his predecessor. He was immediately intrigued by Tzu Chi’s unique combination of religion and humanitarian acts.

Not long afterwards, Gamzou become more and more interested in Tzu Chi. The ISECO head learned that David D’Or, a famous Israeli singer, had been invited to sing at the celebration in Bangkok commemorating the Thai King's 60 years on the throne.

Knowing that D’Or, a vegetarian who engages in charity events around world, would be the perfect guy to share the idea of Tzu Chi with, Gamzou successfully persuaded the vocalist to make a stopover in Taiwan for benefit concerts to raise money for the organization in December of that year,.

Since then D’Or has performed for Tzu Chi three times, including a series of charity concerts organized by the Buddhist Compassion Relief foundation in 2008 to help raise funds for victims of China’s Sichuan earthquake and the cyclone that hit Myanmar.

Encouraged by the spirit of founder of the Tzu Chi Foundation, Master Cheng Yen, D’Or himself has even produced an English-language CD exclusively for Tzu Chi.

Even more importantly, six out of the 13 songs in the album were written by D’Or himself in accordance with Cheng Yen’s own words and teachings.

“The CDs have been sold after every one of D’Or’s concerts all over the world,” said Gamzou, “and all the profits go to the Tzu Chi Foundation for humanitarian acts.”

After successfully holding the fund-raising event, Gamzou said his wife told him that they should do something more directly involved in Tzu Chi’s volunteer work.

Because of the language barrier, Mr. and Mrs. Gamzou picked the recycling activities after going through a whole list of volunteer works that one can do for the foundation, since it required only basic language skills. And that marked the beginning of his volunteer service with the foundation.

Finding similarities between Jewish ideology and Tzu Chi

Though he does not consider himself to be a religious man, Gamzou says that rather than differences, he found a lot of similarities between Jewish thought and the ideas of Buddhism. This was especially true regarding the interpretations of Master Cheng Yen, who believes that all religions are important if they work for peace and promote love among human beings.

“There is no contradiction between Tzu Chi’s values and my identity as a Jew,” Gamzou said. On the contrary, the Israeli representative said, there is a concept in Judaism called “tikkun olam” which he believes is very similar to the ideas of Tzu Chi.

"Olam in Hebrew is the world, the globe, and tikkun means to amend or repair," he pointed out.

“‘Tikkun olam’ basically means that God creates the world, prepares the infrastructure for us. But as human beings, we have the obligation to constantly make it better – to help the poor, defend the weak, heal the sick.” The way he sees it, Gamzou says, he finds in Tzu Chi’s charity work a full and complete implementation of the concept “tikkun olam.”

Another idea of the Buddhism foundation which Gamzou really admires is the tolerance of all people and all religions, a rare idea - especially for a Jew like him from a neighborhood in the Middle East where tolerance of other religions is very often not the case.

That is why you can see the sight of Tzu Chi volunteers and devotees around the world, helping needy persons regardless of their nationality, religion, sex, or the color of their skin, Gamzou noted.

“In the eyes of Tzu Chi, there is only one kind of person, which is people in need. This is the only category that matters to the foundation,” he noted, adding that the idea is one that should be promoted to the world.

As a great admirer of Master Cheng Yen, when Gamzou finally met the leader of Tzu Chi for the first time in Hualien, he decided to prepare an appropriate present for her.

Instead of giving Master Cheng Yen a necklace or a ring, Gamzou had 18 trees planted in her name in Jerusalem's Forest of Peace as the best gift for the founder of the world’s largest Buddhist charity group.

"In Hebrew, the number 18 symbolizes `life,' which corresponds to [Cheng Yen's] ideas very closely," he said. “I think that would be a most appropriate gift for her,” he explained, as it has meanings involving both environmental protection and religious significance.

The love of Taiwanese culture

Having spent the past three years on the beautiful island nation of Taiwan, the head of the Israel Economic and Cultural Office in Taipei said he has tried to immerse himself in Taiwanese culture as much as possible by enjoying local artistic performances such as music and Chinese opera.

Even though very often he doesn’t understand the language, he still finds himself deeply in love with Taiwanese culture.

All the same, Gamzou noted that he thinks the Taiwan government should engage in efforts to help foreigners who have not mastered the Mandarin or Taiwanese dialect to get more involved in learning and acquiring a better knowledge of local culture and tourism.

“The best way to do that is to improve the English-language information on the street,” he pointed out.

On the other hand, the Israeli representative said Taiwan is one of the few places that he finds being a foreigner is a “privilege”, as the Taiwanese people are extremely warm and welcoming to foreigner visitors to the island nation.

He also finds Taiwan culture fascinating and special simply because it is so different from his own culture.

“I take all my guests who come to visit me in Taiwan to Longshan Temple and to the area around it because I think it is so interesting and the best place to experience the unique Taiwanese culture.” Gamzou said.

A visit to Longshan Temple is a fascinating celebration of all the senses, as the temple is decorated in colorful paintings, and at the same time one can listen to sutras chanted by followers and smell incense burning.

“This is something I will definitely miss when I leave Taiwan,” said Gamzou, who is scheduled to leave the country some time next year.

As a genuine lover of Taiwanese people and its culture, Gamzou, who used to be an official in his country’s ministry of foreign affairs responsible for promoting Israeli culture around the world, said he would like to offer a few suggestions to the local government about culture promotion.

“I am afraid there is too much investment [by the Taiwan government] in building new art centers, and not enough in encouraging new local talent.”

The Israeli representative believes that Taiwan should put money into the support of creative young artists and give them subsidies to study aboard as well as spending money in educating local audiences.

“If you want to have a flourishing culture, you have to have enough audience to support it, this should be the priority.”

Also, the government should be more generous in assisting local performing groups when they go abroad.

Taking the example of the recent visit of U-Theater, who were invited to tour Israel by ISECO and the Taipei Economic and Cultural Office in Tel Aviv in March, Gamzou said the Israeli side put more money into covering the theater’s expenses than the Taiwan government did.

A successful tour by one of Taiwan’s performing groups such as U-Theater or Cloud Gate abroad is so important for Taiwan that the government should pay special attention to these events, according to Gamzou, adding that soft power can help to promote local culture to the world.

Written by Joseph Yeh

Friday, July 03, 2009

Astrology and the Spiritual Path

Two things fill the heart with ever new and increasing awe and admiration: the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me. Immanuel Kant

>Astrology can be difficult to integrate into one’s spiritual life. It is easy to get caught up in the trivialized version of astrology we often see in quick-read takes on “glib Gemini” or “lazy Libra”…Talking about oneself as a “wild and crazy Aquarian” or a “deep, dark Scorpio” can be very self-limiting when there is so much more we can learn from seeing ourselves through the marvellous prism of Astrology. And nowadays, it is truly so easy to get into Astrology as both a passionate hobby and a spiritual art. It is a wonderful group thing too – friends can share a completely unique perspective on themselves and their families, and often find insights to heal or prevent relationship, career and other social or personal problems.

Astrology is indeed an art and science…despite what sceptics say, those who study Astrology with an open mind come away startled by the rich “coincidences” between what is in a person’s birth chart and the events and patterns which are in their life. As with Feng Shui, whether the theories are convincing or not, it is simply not rational to argue with the results! So while the sceptics talk, the huge business successes of our times continue to consult both astrologers and practitioners of Feng Shui, and the rest of us continue to heal the energy patterns of our homes, and find life-changing insights in our birth charts.

Astrology is not a religious or spiritual path as such, nor is it a psychological therapy by itself. However, the study of astrology can be a dynamic partner in both spiritual and psychological development. It provides a portal, a doorway, into an unfolding realm of self-knowledge. It can get our attention by its clear outlining of a problem area, and thus it helps us stop deluding ourselves. We can see why an avenue has never worked for us, what directions might be better, and face some home-truths along the way. So Astrology helps us grow up, really – and that is no small thing! It softens us up a bit, as self-knowledge tends to do. We become more open to truth in all spheres of life, and this helps us open up to things like forgiving someone, looking at things “from both sides now”, and seeing we might need some help – especially the grace of God – with some major areas of our life which a glance at the birth chart so often pinpoints.

Astrology is an excellent partner in one’s chosen spiritual path as a source of insight and inspiration. It starts by helping with Faith. Faith is a spiritual Gift – we cannot demand it, but we can work faithfully for it, and then one day, or one lifetime, it simply happens, and we will never look back. Astrology helps plow the earth of Life, helps us sow those seeds of self-knowlege and openness to the mysteries of God’s great universe. And then, one day, when the rains of God’s grace do come, our fields will suddenly bloom, and we will find Faith, where once there was stoney bare ground.

Astrology also helps us get to Faith by offering the very intriguing suggestion that our intuitions and reading of our lives are based in cosmic facts. At a certain point, the “coincidences” between what is in our birth chart and what is and has been going on in our life are too many to dismiss as pure chance. This is especially true when we consider that the birth chart arrives with us and does not get “doctored” along the way. Nor is it fair to suggest, as some might do, that a birth chart is self-fulfilling, that people try to live out the patterns they have been told exist in their birth chart. In my experience, most people never lay eyes on their birth chart till mid-life or later…and frankly, the knowledge required to read a chart, or even to remember what one is told about it in any detail, precludes such a suggestion.