10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Online Life Coaching - Healing the Primal Wound

The pain-body is a parasitical entity that feeds on emotional suffering such as anxiety, stress, and depression. It attaches itself to you at a specific time in childhood that I call "the primal wounding." This is a time when the ego becomes wounded because of some form of trauma. This traumatic event usually comes from a parent, sibling, or schoolmate.

As you develop into adulthood, the pain-body matures along with you because it will consistently attract to it more traumatic events that emulate the initial wounding. These subsequent traumas are not any less severe than the initial wounding. They may seem more severe, because you've been suffering for so long, but they aren't. They are only echoes of the trauma that you endured during your primal wound.

For example, let's say that you were abused by a step-father when you were six. This abuse then becomes the primal wounding. Your emotional body (in the right-brain), begins to identify itself with fear, pain, and anxiety. This would be the nascent stage of your pain-body. Then, when you begin school, you will naturally attract to you other "bullies" who will sense your pain-body and detect you as a "victim" of pain. This frequency is a perfect match for the predatory frequency of the bully. It's a hand-in-glove fit.

As you graduate from year to year, going up through middle school and high school, you may continue to attract to you more bullies that will beat you up, either physically or mentally, or both. When you begin your first relationship, you may also attract to you a partner who is psychologically and/or physically abusive as well. When you were six, you were helpless to escape the abuse from your stepfather and so the same dynamic will repeat itself when you enter into a long-term relationship. Even though you have the power to end the relationship, you probably won't -- at least not right away. You may even get married to this abusive person because your pain-body remembers that at needs to (at the very least) suffer through the same period of time that you suffered as a child. The abuse is so completely engrained, your pain-body will want to keep coming back for more pain.

Even when you manage to divorce that abusive person -- if you don't take the time to heal the pain-body -- you may attract yet another person who continues to abuse you, and repeat the early childhood trauma. Taking the time out to heal the pain-body completely is key. It is necessary for your inner peace, physical well-being, and happiness in life. A spiritual counselor can help you to become aware of your primal wound and heal it. Then, instead of asking, "Why does this keep happening to me?" You'll be asking, "What have I done to create this reality?" Personal Life Coach, Jason Lincoln Jeffers, is the founder of The Art of Transformation, a company devoted to teaching Spiritual Enlightenment to the world. His Personal Life Coaching program uniquely combines spiritual wisdom with self transcendence, holistic wellness coaching, life path astrology, pain-body counseling, heart-based manifesting, and relationship coaching.

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