10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Sunday, September 04, 2011

Public Speaking Tips - The Importance Of Audience Contact

Although speaking in public is really a monologue of sorts, this monologue is addressed to a ready, able and receptive audience who wants to learn from you as much as you want to learn from them.

If it is listened to, then speaking in public would be more effective. To maintain that necessary contact with the audience, here are some effective tips to consider.

Don't forget to greet them

A few minutes prior to your actual speaking engagement, try walking around the venue and familiarize yourself with the people who will be listening to you. Give the people and the attendees a warm greeting as they arrive. Rather than trying to deliver a speech to a bunch of anonymous faces, it would be so much easier to deliver it to a group of people whom you consider as friends.

Being positive

The truth is, people expect and they want you to succeed. Audiences want to be as informed, stimulated and entertained as they could be. If you do fail, then they will cringe with you. Succeed and your audience benefits just as well from your great speaking performance.

There is nothing to be sorry about

Avoid expressing your apologies to any problems you think may exist about your speech or your speech delivery or mention to the audience that you are nervous because if you do, then you may be setting them up to focus on whatever you are apologizing for. It isn't necessary to mention this to them because it's possible they haven't noticed this until you brought it up. Relax and be silent. Your audience will relax with you.

You need to establish eye contact

Try connecting with your audience and appear natural. It would be better if be as natural as you can be without overdoing it. Getting the audience to nod their heads as an acknowledgement of what you are trying to convey is what you should be able to do. Make sure you don't breeze through your speech. Pausing for a while or for a brief moment is a must especially at those points that you want to emphasize. You can also consider this a good time to establish eye contact with your attendees and you can also catch that much needed breath.

Avoid debating

If an audience expresses disagreement with any part of your message during the question and answer part of your speaking engagement, you don't have to aggressively prove your point to him or her. The fact is a debate, aside from being just a futile means to get your point across, could just as well never be resolved. If you want to get that attendee to talk with you, make sure it's after your speaking engagement and not during. Join artist Caroline Jasper to learn water painting tips in this detailed DVD

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