10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Sunday, September 04, 2011

Spiritual Life Coaching - Healing the Emotional Pain-Body

As the egoic mind begins to identify with a sense of self that is emotionally arrested in childhood, the pain-body energy will intensify. This trauma gets continually re-triggered every single time the pain-body justifies its existence by identifying with its wounded self. It's as if the pain-body says, "I have been hurt by others and therefore I deserve to be angry."

And so the pain-body is an energy field that re-experiences itself through negative emotions such as victimization, oppression, and a deep-seated, subconscious fear of impending doom. These feelings get reinforced and substantiated by the re-occurring situations that frequently arise as a result of the pain-body's ability to attract to it its own like energy. A typical pain-body host will consistently relive the very same emotions that became blocked during the forming of its childhood primal wound. In simpler words, these hosts are emotionally stuck in the past.

So the next step after you identify the childhood trauma is to work toward getting yourself "unstuck." Now, as you bring in the power of presence and bring in a higher awareness into the pain-body, it can no longer trick you into completely identifying with it. When you can observe the pain-body arising you will want to practice recognizing it as a separate entity, a separate energy field. You will see it as being not who you are. That is the beginning of your liberation from it.

Recognizing the pain-body when it becomes active in whatever form is crucial. With some, the pain-body exhibits a more active, aggressive-like pain, in other persons it is a passive form of victim-like pain such as with those with "Poor Me Syndrome." There may be a tenseness or constriction in the muscles and so you will want to become aware of that. Or there may be a burning or tightness in the solar plexus or abdomen and so you become aware of that. Some may become consumed with rage is if they're whole body was set on fire.

We are not fighting the pain-body or trying to eliminate it. That will only empower it. It tried fighting my pain-body for years by "attacking it" with a variety of diets, treatments, an enduring a series of physiological and psychological examinations, all in a desperate attempt to "get rid of" my chronic illness. But resistance the pain didn't work. My pain-body didn't begin to dissolve until I completely surrendered to it. It's as if you say, "Well, this is the way it is. And therefore I honor and respect that." Only by practicing the power of presence can you successfully bring an end to the pain-body.

So by becoming a silent witness to the pain as it begins to take over your body, you are already beginning to transcend it and work toward its dissolution. Working in one-on-one sessions with an online spiritual life coach can be very helpful for you as you allow your pain-body to dissolve on its own volition by becoming aware of it as it resurfaces.

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