10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Spiritual Life Coaching: Stop Attracting Bullies Into Your Life

Spiritual Life Coaching with Pain-Body Work can provide you with the tools you'll need to heal your pain-body and stop attracting bullies into your life. Bullying demonstrates many pain-body aspects, including hatred, intolerance, anger, obsession, and harassment.

Between the ages of six and ten, my stepfather would use the switch of a willow tree or a two-by-four to "discipline" me. I never became a bully myself, but I did become a victim of bullying. Every school year, from the third grade until my junior year in high school, I was verbally harassed, picked on, or physically abused by other boys in school. And even though I changed schools three times (because we moved as a family), that didn't matter. It also didn't help that I was two years younger than many of my fellow classmates and therefore always physically smaller.

The pain-body predator always requires a pain-body prey to feed on. The predator and prey pain-bodies, therefore, become a hand-in-glove fit for one another in the duality energy exchange of each bully attack. Even though I never retaliated my pain onto another during all those years in school, the pain from my primal trauma remained heavily imprinted inside my emotional body. As a result, I unconsciously projected my anger and fear outwardly. That energy imprint is what attracted the bullies to me. Fear energy can only attract like fear energy. This is called the law of attraction.

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4400 deaths in the U.S. per year. A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying, and that 10 to 14-year-old girls may be at a higher risk. According to the Pacer Center for bullying prevention, one in three students between the ages of 12 and 18 have been either taunted, pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on, and about 160,000 students in the U.S. miss class each day just to avoid bullies. Bullies demonstrate the aspect of the pain-body that gleans pleasure out of hurting others.

The saying goes, "Sticks and stones may be break my bones but names can never hurt me." Well, teen movie star and singer, Demi Lovato disagrees. In fact, she dropped out of public school to become home-schooled just because of bullying. The verbal abuse that she endured for years prompted her to finally draw the line and protect herself. Demi told us about her suffering in a September 7, 2010 CNN interview, saying, "There were things that were said that still affect me...and cause problems for me that I suffer with to this day..." Demi said that she overcame her abuse by putting all her energy into the things that she loves rather than fighting back. She admitted that it was very difficult to overcome and turn the other cheek.

Just as a physical punch is energy released and received, a verbal punch is energy released and received. The verbal attacks from bullies are just as detrimental as a physical attack because the victim will echo that verbal message a million times in their head, over and over again, for years on end. This negative reinforcement is what the pain-body "feeds on."

Over time, it may become too unbearable for the victim to live inside of their own body, because they are in pain all of the time. This incessant pain is why so many pain-bodies drive their hosts to suicide. Pain-Body Work by a Spiritual Life Coach can help the bully victim to become fully conscious of their own pain-body and subsequently transcend it. Personal Life Coach, Jason Lincoln Jeffers is the founder of The Art of Transformation, a company devoted to teaching Self Realization to the world. His Personal Life Coaching practice uniquely synthesizes spiritual wisdom with self transcendence, holistic wellness coaching, predictive astrology, pain-body counseling, heart-based manifestation, and relationship coaching.

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