10 ways to control your anger - Professional expert’s advice

I am really emotional and excitable person. I think that there are two types of anger: constructive anger and a destructive one. In order to understand the anger phenomenon I decided to investigate the nature of anger, reasons of its appearing, key factors and anger management.

What does it mean this anger? Anger is a strong indignation feeling of our emotional sphere that is attended by self-control losing. Anger is a signal of our state. Glands produce an array of hormones that have a great and deep effect on all our body. The main participants of this process are adrenaline and cortisol. They activate cardiovascular system and consequently all organs. Adrenalin causes fast heart beating, rising blood pressure. These rich oxygenated blood streams to the places are responsible for reaction. Thus some extra energy is released.

There are 4 basic ways of anger expressions:

1. Straight and immediately (verbally or nonverbally) to show your anger. It gives an opportunity to free from the negative emotions.

2. To express anger in an indirect way. In this case usually suffer persons that are weaker, not dangerous and those ones who “come to hand”, usually they are our family and close relatives. Thus we hurt our dear ones. One of the best ways is to express your anger to the person who is the source of this very anger. If it is impossible- better find some compromise.

3. Restraining anger you “drive” it deep inside. So, negative emotions store will provoke a big stress sooner or later.

4. You may foresee situation of anger feeling, try not to expand this feeling but get to know the reason, understand and solve it. A Roman philosopher Seneca said: “When you are feeling of ascending “volcano”- stand still, not doing anything- not speaking, not moving.”

Anger is a normal and natural human feeling, especially nowadays as life is really fast and we have a huge amount of information to accumulate (in comparison with our previous generations). The range of anger is rather wide: from a slight annoyance to impetuous fury. Anger can be quick and long, lasting for years in form of bitterness, vengeance or hate. Anger can lead to health issues like depression, high blood pressure, hearth diseases, stresses, alcohol dependence and obesity. If you are anger- express it. If you feel discomfort from these “negative splashes”- then we can give some techniques how to manage your emotional anger:

  • 1. Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile.

  • 2. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down.

  • 3. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts.

  • 4. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper.

  • 5. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  • 6. Prayer. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you.

  • 7. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply.

  • 8. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself.

  • 9. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.”

  • 10. Your values. What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. I wish you good luck!

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Thursday, March 06, 2008

A Buddhism Primer

BUXTON (March 6, 2008):
Dr. Sunil Goonasekera, 60, is a visiting professor in his second year at Bowdoin College, where he teaches four Asian religions, including Buddhism. His specialty is anthropology of religion. He graduated from University of California at San Diego. He has taught there and at a major university in his native country, Sir Lanka. He and his wife live near San Diego, Calif., and each has a law degree.

Here is Goonasekera’s explanation of Buddhism:

Buddhism exists in the form of two large sects – the Theravada and the Mahayana. Cambodian Buddhism belongs to the Theravada sect. Theravada temples exist in forests and villages. Forest monks live in solitude or in groups and dedicate their lives to meditation. Village monks, in addition to meditation, also provide community support by holding sermons to explain Buddhist concepts and by making available educational and medical facilities. The Theravada sect exists in Cambodia, Myanmar (Burma), Sri Lanka (Ceylon), Thailand, Laos and Vietnam.

"The Mahayana sect exists in Tibet, China, Japan, Korea and Taiwan. When Tibet was an independent country, its leader was Dalai Lama, the head of the Tibetan branch of the Mahayana sect.

"Buddhism is a religion founded around 6th- or 5th-century B.C. by the Buddha – also known as the Enlightened One, in northern India. The Buddha discovered the Four Noble Truths, the foundation of Buddhism. They are:

"There is suffering in life; there are causes of suffering; there is a way to end this suffering; and there is a condition of existence without suffering known as Nibbana (Nirvana).

"The Buddha advocated a middle path, between extreme indulgence in pleasures of life and self-mortification, for living in the world. The Buddha also advocated a path to end suffering and to realize Nibbana. This is known as the Noble Eightfold Path. The eightfold path consists of eight practices: right perception, right conceptualization, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right religious effort, right mindfulness and right contemplation.

"The hallmark of being a Buddhist lay person involves taking refuge in the Triple Gem - The Buddha, Dhamma (his doctrines) and Sangha (the Buddhist monastic order), and observing five basic precepts. They are: I will not kill; I will not steal; I will not speak untruth; I will not sexually misbehave; and I will not consume intoxicating substances.

"These are promises that Buddhists daily make to themselves. Buddhist lay persons are advised not to let three conditions influence their thoughts – lust, hatred and delusions. They are required to engage in giving or charity, be disciplined and practice meditation.

"Buddhism is an agnostic religion that does not discuss the existence of a creator God. It neither affirms nor denies the existence of one creator. However, it does include beliefs in many gods. Gods are not considered as supreme beings. They are merely another bodiless state of heavenly existence.
It is not necessary to worship them in order to be a Buddhist. These gods also must practice Buddhism in order to realize ultimate Truth and achieve the ultimate state of being, the Nibbana, which is the cessation of existence.”

By Robert Lowell Reporter-American Journal

1 comment:

John 5 said...

I was looking for an article about Buddhism and found yours. Very interesting and useful. Thanks